Something Beautiful presents Deny This with Furious Ric

Don't Be That Guy
So there is a thread in the forums about things at concerts that annoy you. This has inspired me to write my first article thing for denythepain.com. I go to a lot of shows, or at least I used to. The whole progression into adulthood thing for me has not allowed me to go to as many shows as I would like. However, we'll all run under the assumption that I go to as many shows as I would like. There are a few things that I would like to address. First off, don't wear the band's shirt to the band's concert. Don't be that guy. This rule should be self-evident, but go to a show and you'll see countless numbers of these fucking douchebags. We get it, you're a fan of the band. I would assume that you're at the show because you're a fan of the band. It's bad enough that so many bands are charging the fans an arm and a leg to be a walking billboard for them most days, but you don't need to advertise your love for Slayer by wearing your Diabolous shirt at their show. Dumbass. In all the shows I've been to I think the group that violates this rule most blatantly are Iced Earth fans. I have never seen such a high concentration of Iced Earth shirts in my life. These are the same people that want to go to Jon Schaffer's civil war memorabilia shop in rural Indiana. I cannot possibly convey the loathing I have for these people. I think I can make a few, very special exceptions to this otherwise iron clad rule. If you're going to a local show I guess I can let you get away with wearing the band's shirt. If it's a bunch of local bands and you want to show which band you're there for, that's one thing. Also, "specialty" shirts might get away with this. I actually wore a Metallica Club shirt to a Metallica show. Now that I think about it though, I think I should throw myself under the bus. Literally. I should stop typing out this rant and walk out to the closet main street and throw myself underneath a rapidly approaching CTA bus. What the fuck was I thinking? Yeah, wow...I'm such a Metallica fan that I won't just pay an exhorbitant price for a ticket to the show, but I'm going to show off that I'm willing to shell out an extra $40 to profess my love for the band. God, I'm such an asshole. Also, I wore a Machine Head shirt to a Machine Head show one time. Allow me to explain. Seriously, stop laughing and just continue reading. Back in August of 2004 Machine Head played a show on the 10th anniversary of the release of their debut album "Burn My Eyes." "Burn My Eyes" is a spectacular album, and I foster an unhealthy obsession with Machine Head. Anyway, I ended up going to the 10th anniversary show at the TLA in Philadelphia. It was an amazing show because the band played the entire "Burn My Eyes" album from start to finish. Well, I bought a shirt at the show that commemorated the event, and when I went to see Machine Head the next night in Washington, D.C. I wore said shirt. Hey, at least I didn't wear the 10th anniversary shirt at the 10th anniversary show. I think I hate those assholes the most. If you see someone at a show wearing the shirt from the tour you are seeing that night I suggest putting out a lit cigarette in the mouth breather's eye. So, now it's time for me to move onto my next visceral hatred. Assholes in the pit. Everyone should understand basic pit etiquette. You should never push someone into the pit, and if someone falls down make sure to pick them up. I'm making another rule. The only thing you should do in the pit is run into other people. That's all a mosh pit needs to be. Slightly confused? Well, allow me to explain. Have you ever been to a show and maneuvered youself over to the pit, ready to unleash some pent up hostility? Have you gotten ready to run into a pit, but then something stopped you? Did that something happen to be a group of kids appearing to fight invisible ninjas? That's right, these "core" kids have to go. I'm not going to call them "hardcore" kids, because generally they listen to that "metalcore" stuff which apparantly inspires them to get into a perfectly good mosh pit and try to pick up change that isn't there, and flail their fists wildly in an attempt to fight back against repressed early childhood memories. This may only be my theory. I only took Psychology 101 in college, but I don't think it's a big assumption that these kids had an uncle or father with "boundary issues." Listen, the mosh pit is not the place to let everyone know that you've watched "Enter the Dragon" a million times. Just get in there and run into somebody. Assholes. What really irritated me was when I went to the Sounds of the Underground tour a couple of years ago. I was enjoying Behemoth's set, when a group of these dickbags can the balls to stand there making fun of Behemoth's stage presence. This really irritated some guys who had apparently been doing meth in the parking lot before the show. As these meatheads approached the pre-pubescent Jet Li fans I stopped them. I diffused the situation by saying, "Don't hurt them. If you do, who will protect us from the invisible ninjas?" I'll make my next point relatively quick. Ladies, if you don't want to have a guy who is the size of an ogre pressed up against you at a show then stay in the back. I was at a show once and ended up almost on the rail. I was directly behind two incredibly small girls. They were giving me dirty looks for a good part of the show, and then they ended up saying something to me about how I should go toward the back. Hey, I have no problem having my internal organs crushed inside of my body. What really pissed me off was that they ended up reaching behind them and scratching the fuck out of my forearms with their fingernails. I have never wanted to murder someone more in my entire life. Before I wrap this up I feel I have to address the worst thing you will run into at a concert, crowd surfers. I generally loathe people, but crowd surfers are at the top of my list of hatred. Listen, I came to the show to let out some aggression and damage my hearing. I did not come to the show to have my spine compressed when some asshole lands on my head, and I really didn't show up to get tea bagged by some 14 year old kid. I hate you crowd surfers with the white hot intensity of a thousand burning suns, and I hope that one day you get dropped on your head and are forced to spend the rest of your life doing a Christopher Reeve impression.

Don't Be That Guy

So there is a thread in the forums about things at concerts that annoy you. This has inspired me to write my first article thing for denythepain.com. I go to a lot of shows, or at least I used to. The whole progression into adulthood thing for me has not allowed me to go to as many shows as I would like. However, we'll all run under the assumption that I go to as many shows as I would like. There are a few things that I would like to address. First off, don't wear the band's shirt to the band's concert. Don't be that guy. This rule should be self-evident, but go to a show and you'll see countless numbers of these fucking douchebags. We get it, you're a fan of the band. I would assume that you're at the show because you're a fan of the band. It's bad enough that so many bands are charging the fans an arm and a leg to be a walking billboard for them most days, but you don't need to advertise your love for Slayer by wearing your Diabolous shirt at their show. Dumbass. In all the shows I've been to I think the group that violates this rule most blatantly are Iced Earth fans. I have never seen such a high concentration of Iced Earth shirts in my life. These are the same people that want to go to Jon Schaffer's civil war memorabilia shop in rural Indiana. I cannot possibly convey the loathing I have for these people.

I think I can make a few, very special exceptions to this otherwise iron clad rule. If you're going to a local show I guess I can let you get away with wearing the band's shirt. If it's a bunch of local bands and you want to show which band you're there for, that's one thing. Also, "specialty" shirts might get away with this. I actually wore a Metallica Club shirt to a Metallica show. Now that I think about it though, I think I should throw myself under the bus. Literally. I should stop typing out this rant and walk out to the closet main street and throw myself underneath a rapidly approaching CTA bus. What the fuck was I thinking? Yeah, wow...I'm such a Metallica fan that I won't just pay an exhorbitant price for a ticket to the show, but I'm going to show off that I'm willing to shell out an extra $40 to profess my love for the band. God, I'm such an asshole. Also, I wore a Machine Head shirt to a Machine Head show one time. Allow me to explain. Seriously, stop laughing and just continue reading. Back in August of 2004 Machine Head played a show on the 10th anniversary of the release of their debut album "Burn My Eyes." "Burn My Eyes" is a spectacular album, and I foster an unhealthy obsession with Machine Head. Anyway, I ended up going to the 10th anniversary show at the TLA in Philadelphia. It was an amazing show because the band played the entire "Burn My Eyes" album from start to finish. Well, I bought a shirt at the show that commemorated the event, and when I went to see Machine Head the next night in Washington, D.C. I wore said shirt.

Hey, at least I didn't wear the 10th anniversary shirt at the 10th anniversary show. I think I hate those assholes the most. If you see someone at a show wearing the shirt from the tour you are seeing that night I suggest putting out a lit cigarette in the mouth breather's eye.

So, now it's time for me to move onto my next visceral hatred. Assholes in the pit. Everyone should understand basic pit etiquette. You should never push someone into the pit, and if someone falls down make sure to pick them up. I'm making another rule. The only thing you should do in the pit is run into other people. That's all a mosh pit needs to be. Slightly confused? Well, allow me to explain. Have you ever been to a show and maneuvered youself over to the pit, ready to unleash some pent up hostility? Have you gotten ready to run into a pit, but then something stopped you? Did that something happen to be a group of kids appearing to fight invisible ninjas?

That's right, these "core" kids have to go. I'm not going to call them "hardcore" kids, because generally they listen to that "metalcore" stuff which apparantly inspires them to get into a perfectly good mosh pit and try to pick up change that isn't there, and flail their fists wildly in an attempt to fight back against repressed early childhood memories. This may only be my theory. I only took Psychology 101 in college, but I don't think it's a big assumption that these kids had an uncle or father with "boundary issues." Listen, the mosh pit is not the place to let everyone know that you've watched "Enter the Dragon" a million times. Just get in there and run into somebody. Assholes. What really irritated me was when I went to the Sounds of the Underground tour a couple of years ago. I was enjoying Behemoth's set, when a group of these dickbags can the balls to stand there making fun of Behemoth's stage presence. This really irritated some guys who had apparently been doing meth in the parking lot before the show. As these meatheads approached the pre-pubescent Jet Li fans I stopped them. I diffused the situation by saying, "Don't hurt them. If you do, who will protect us from the invisible ninjas?"

I'll make my next point relatively quick. Ladies, if you don't want to have a guy who is the size of an ogre pressed up against you at a show then stay in the back. I was at a show once and ended up almost on the rail. I was directly behind two incredibly small girls. They were giving me dirty looks for a good part of the show, and then they ended up saying something to me about how I should go toward the back. Hey, I have no problem having my internal organs crushed inside of my body. What really pissed me off was that they ended up reaching behind them and scratching the fuck out of my forearms with their fingernails. I have never wanted to murder someone more in my entire life.

Before I wrap this up I feel I have to address the worst thing you will run into at a concert, crowd surfers. I generally loathe people, but crowd surfers are at the top of my list of hatred. Listen, I came to the show to let out some aggression and damage my hearing. I did not come to the show to have my spine compressed when some asshole lands on my head, and I really didn't show up to get tea bagged by some 14 year old kid. I hate you crowd surfers with the white hot intensity of a thousand burning suns, and I hope that one day you get dropped on your head and are forced to spend the rest of your life doing a Christopher Reeve impression.